things to say at work

1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.

2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

3. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.

4. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

5. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.

6. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

7. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a damn word you're saying.

8. Ahhh...I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again...

9. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.

10. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you

11. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

12. Do I look like a people person?

13. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

14. If I throw a stick, will you leave?

15. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

16. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

17. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

18. How do I set a laser printer to stun?